Absentee Ballot Controversy in Jeffersonville and Clarksville

HARBESON: No absence of malice here

SELLERSBURG — After an election consultant, hired by various campaigns in Jeffersonville and Clarksville, was indicted by a Jennings County grand jury on charges related to absentee voter fraud, local campaign officials involved with him have been scrambling to defend their own campaigns in very colorful ways.

For example, while expounding on the intricacies of indictment compared to conviction, one local politician from Jeffersonville said, “You can take a grand jury and get indicted on the color of your lipstick if they want to do that.”

Wow, I was completely unaware of this. I thought grand jury indictments were only for felony charges, not for fashion faux pas.

I had no idea choosing the color of lipstick could make me susceptible to grand jury indictment. I’m glad now that I passed on that great two-for-one offer the other day for a special shade of glossy lipstick called “Smoky Purple Passion Temptress.”

Wearing that is an indictable offense for sure.

I wonder if the release of this information has anything to do with the reason why Clark County has experienced a much larger amount of absentee ballot requests for this municipal election.

Think about it. If a lipstick-loving voter is afraid of possible indictment, what would she (or he, I’m not going to be sexist about this) do about voting? These voters certainly won’t want to risk heading out to the voting booth all gussied up.

On the other hand, they certainly wouldn’t want to be seen in public with naked, pale, dry lips. So the obvious solution to this dilemma is absentee voting.

If this lipstick issue isn’t disturbing enough, a county political party official also made an interesting statement when talking about voter fraud accusations. He said this kind of thing happens all the time, “It’s like farting in an elevator and blaming it on the guy next to you.”

I guess that explains why politics stinks so badly. I’m wondering though — do such activities really happen that often? I have no idea. All I know is that the next time I’m unlucky enough to have to enter a government building, I’m taking the stairs.

A PAC named The Clarksville Democrat Town Committee also hired this guy. Should residents be concerned? Not according to one incumbent candidate — he dismissed any allegations as “political mumbo jumbo.”

I like that phrase. As a matter of fact, if I was an election consultant, I’d recommend using it for their next fundraising dinner so they could serve up some “political mumbo jumbo gumbo.”

No need to pay me for that idea, candidates — I know you can use the money since local campaigns spend tens of thousands of dollars to solicit absentee votes. I’m sure you are spending that much money for pure civic responsibility reasons.

I do have a question though. If lots of absentee voting is due to this form of active solicitation, how knowledgeable are these voters about the individual campaigns and issues in question? It just seems odd that political campaigns work that hard to actively recruit the ignorant.

This recent scandal has brought out calls for reform of absentee voter laws. These people want you to believe that more legislation can fix the problem. The laws are just not written “correctly” and all that’s needed is some tweaking. I’m not so sure — after all, voting is just another government-run program.

Rewriting legislation in an attempt to avoid corruption and abuse is merely putting another coat of possibly indictment-inducing lipstick on the system. It won’t hide the ugly truth that voting is the method of gaining power and control over other people using government force.

— Clark County resident Debbie Harbeson says that from now on she’ll be wearing clear lip gloss when she leaves home, just to be safe.

There Are Reasons Why I'm Not A Journalist

HARBESON: Taking attendance of the community rally

> SOUTHERN INDIANA — There’s really only one miscalculation Lindon Dodd made when preparing for last Saturday’s Community Rally event. He scheduled it so that I’d be able to write a column about it before he could.

Let me start by talking about attendance. I’ve been to at least five politically oriented events at the Clark County 4-H Fairgrounds and although this one was probably the largest, the turnout was still small.

I’ve had several years to think about why all of these events had low attendance and I think I’ve finally figured it out. Most people really only want to come to the fairgrounds so they can experience the excitement and thrill of risky behavior that can only happen at the county fair itself.

I’m sure you know the thrilling experiences I’m talking about. Activities like wearing a brand new pair of shoes just to see if you can get back home without any chicken, cow or hog excrement stuck to them. Or trying to see how many corn dogs and cotton candy swirls you can eat before puking your guts out.

How could any political rally or candidate forum ever compete with such fun?

On the other hand, I could also classify this event’s attendance as too large, at least for my purposes, because I ran out of copies of “The Law.” It’s encouraging to know there are others out there who are interested in educating themselves about political philosophy.

If you’re reading this to find out what the speakers had to say, I’m afraid I won’t be of much help. I’ve already pointed out that I have very short attention spans at these functions. As a matter of fact, at one point, when a speaker was getting way too long-winded, I started imagining how fun it would be to have one of those shepherd hooks — you know, the kind used in vaudeville times to pull bad performers off stage.

In the middle of this mind distraction, I was jerked back to reality when this same fellow apparently went too far with his comments when discussing a specific candidate, something the organizers requested speakers avoid.

I’m not surprised this happened since this speaker is a lawyer. Lawyers consistently rate second, behind only politicians, in the list of professions who often don’t know when to shut up. Of course, coming in a close third are newspaper columnists.

I do mean it though; don’t ask me what this little brouhaha was about. I truly missed most of the details because I was in the middle of that shepherd hook fantasy. This is one reason why I’m not a journalist.

Not long after this ruckus, I found myself faced with my own potential disturbance. I had two fellows come up to me at nearly the same time requesting a book. Having only one book left, I wasn’t sure what to do. Just as I was about to suggest a cage match they worked it out for themselves.

They behaved like perfect gentlemen too, politely engaging each other with phrases such as “Oh, you take it,” “No, you should have it, you were here first …” I learned a lot about these two while watching them work out the problem — neither of these guys would ever cut it as political campaign advertisement writers.

I’m glad I went because I enjoyed meeting several people I’ve only interacted with online until now. There was one downside though — by Sunday evening, I noticed the rash. My doctor warned me this could happen because I’m allergic to anything political.

He says I should engage in less risky behaviors so from now on, I might just stick to riding the Rock-O-Plane on a full stomach.

Sellersburg resident Debbie Harbeson prefers the Rock-O-Plane to politics because hanging upside down is much less disorienting.

Don't Coerce Your Neighbor, Just Support Your Cause

HARBESON: You can put your money where your vote is

By DEBBIE HARBESON Local Columnist

> SOUTHERN INDIANA — This column is for all the yes men (and women) out there — those residing in the Clarksville Community School Corp. boundaries who voted yes on the recent referendum intended to increase the tax base for the school system.

You listened when officials said they didn’t have enough money and the problem could not be fixed by lowering expenses. You realized, as they do, that although many people continue to refer to government-funded education as free, it’s really not. You accepted that when a government-funded service needs more money, it must come from productive members of the community.

So, after the administrators came up with their plan, you sat down, looked over your budget, calculated the additional costs based on your property valuation, considered your goals and decided it was worth it. You went to the polls and voted yes.

But the referendum failed. Naturally, you were disappointed and perhaps even irritated at those who voted no. You felt like that was the end of it.

But it’s not. The referendum is only the end of it for those who did not want to be coerced into paying more. You, however, can still do what you wanted to do.

See, the vote had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you pay an additional amount to the school system. In reality, your vote only allowed you to say that you condoned the coercion of your neighbor paying more as well, whether he wanted to or not.

That’s all your yes vote would really have accomplished because you can still do what you said you wanted to do and contribute more money to the cause. The failed referendum changes nothing for you as an individual. You are still free to pay more into the system. No one will stop you. As a yes man (or woman), you remain free to do what you decided you were willing to do.

And speaking of freedom, the referendum result also set free those who do not consent to an increase. Fortunately, they are now able to use their money that would have been coerced from them in any way they decide is worth it, based on their individual goals and values.

So go ahead, follow through on your decision. No one will stop you from doing what you think is right, so pay the amount equal to an additional 24 cents per $100 of assessed valuation on your property. You may even be willing to pay more than that and again, you are free to do so.

In addition, if you are part of the special interest group that receives the 65 and older property tax deduction, then consider adding that amount on top of your 24 cents per $100 assessed valuation to your funds as well. I’m sure everyone in the system would appreciate this additional voluntary gesture.

You will benefit by giving your money this way because you avoid much of the bureaucracy and additional costs that occur when your funds travel through the tax system. You’ll have more power to direct the money to areas you decide are most valuable. You are even free to pool your money with others and put it to work in ways you deem worthy.

Best of all, taking this individual action leaves everyone with a better feeling than dragging in others without their consent. They are left alone and you get to pay the additional amount as you said you would. Each individual is respected.

Remember, you don’t need to vote or get anyone’s permission when you want to support a cause you believe in.


Sellersburg resident Debbie Harbeson has always been a yes-woman. Especially when someone else is paying the bill.