Government is a Malignant Polyp

HARBESON: Cleaning out government

> SOUTHERN INDIANA — For some time now, certain people have been telling me I’m full of it, and as it turns out, they were right. I discovered this last week when I went through the process of having a colonoscopy.

For those of you who don’t know, a colonoscopy is a medical procedure that enables doctors to look inside the colon for any abnormalities such as polyps. Since some polyps can be precancerous, they are removed at the time of the screening.

Now, for a medical professional to have a clear view inside the colon, the organ needs to be thoroughly cleaned out. Although a laxative is taken the day before, the really strong stuff is taken a few hours before the exam.

The directions warned me to be close to a restroom because it’s supposed to work really fast. I took the first half of the bottle expecting to run to the bathroom at any moment. But nothing happened. A half hour went by. Still nothing happened. As I was getting close to taking the second dose I started to think something must really be wrong.

Why wasn’t this working?

I wondered if I should have told them I was a political opinion columnist. Maybe they would have given me a stronger dose. As it turned out though, after the second dose, the stuff started working really well. I was definitely cleaned out in time.

Maybe I was still high on drugs, but after it was all over, I thought the colonoscopy process could serve as a great analogy to understand government. Let me explain by using Clark County as an example.

A few years ago, a group of well-intentioned people on the county council thought they were doing a good thing by cutting property taxes. In essence, they gave county government a laxative to clear out the reserve that had built up over time.

Now Clark County is experiencing severe budget pains. It’s important to note that many local governments are also struggling because there have been other factors at play such as property tax caps.

However, since Clark County did get that extra laxative boost, it did create a unique situation that does allow for a better look inside the inner plumbing to see how government works.

The most glaring example is the various lawsuits that have been filed. First, the county judges sued the county council. Then, the county sheriff sued the county council and the county council is appealing a decision by the Department of Local Government Finance in court.

Yes, they whine and moan that they don’t want to do it, but, gee, they have to spend the money. After all, another department of the same government said so.

You’re supposed to focus on these lawsuits as if one government entity is suing another government entity to get money. But what’s happening here is that these people are really suing you, the taxpayer. You are the one who pays. The lawsuits merely use legal complication to help create an illusion intended to deflect and soften this truth.

So the previous council’s laxative that led to the lawsuits did accomplish something: Now we can clearly see that when the government wants more money, there’s always a way. We now know there is another method inside the government toolbox that officials can, and will, use to get your money.

What can we learn from this? Well, it’s not about getting “new” people in there to deliver a one-time laxative. Such a cleansing can feel good, but government itself is a malignant polyp.

Eventually, we’re going to have to go deeper, snare that abnormality and remove it. Until people accept that, it’s just going to continue to metastasize and cause problems.

— Clark County resident Debbie Harbeson actually kind of enjoyed the time she spent not being so full of it.

Skid Marks on Taxation Road

COLUMN NOTES: I wonder if Steve Earle would mind if I used his music from this awesome song and re-wrote the lyrics for one I'd title Taxation Road.

HARBESON: Watch out for taxation road’s potholes

> SOUTHERN INDIANA — When Clark County politicians were considering whether or not to implement the wheel tax yet again, I noticed some erratic driving on taxation road.

Some officials headed to the no-tax ramp from the start. Later, when others noticed the skid marks made by angry voters, they merged over too, so the wheel tax failed to pass.

In other words, they saw the light — the one emitting from all the headlights on the voter’s cars that were headed right for their jobs, so they got the heck out of the way.

Politicians know that if they put too many tax dents into citizens, they start sputtering and leaking anger and so they decided, this time, that one more tax dent might just be “too much.”

However, even when politicians say they are taking action for the taxpayer, there’s always at least one who feels the need to lecture them. This time it was Barbara Hollis, telling taxpayers that the wheel tax is really not a tax, but rather a “user-fee.”

It’s a common tactic, to change the terminology to make a government action sound more palatable. I hope most of you see this for what it is — a desperate attempt to take you for a ride down propaganda road.

Common sense tells us this is not a user-fee. It’s not at all based on actual road usage. If it were, the little old lady who only drives her car to church on Sundays would certainly not pay the same as the little old lady who likes to put on her scarf and cruise county roads in her convertible.

If we’re going to discuss usage, then let’s calculate the actual miles of county roads we all use per week and analyze the results. And while we’re at it, let’s consider how many of those 500 miles of roads many wheels have never traveled on and never will.

If there was a way to pay for use, and also be sure the money’s actually spent on maintenance, I bet most would be happy to do so. Especially if means we could get far, far away from political manipulation.

Of course, the problem of building and maintaining roads is not just the fault of local governments. The federal government forces us to build roads in order to bring money back into our community and little consideration is given to maintenance issues.

Certainly it will take work to figure out smarter ways to maintain roads that have already been built on this faulty model. It’s hard to go backward. But we can change our actions going forward for new roads.

Clark County has the perfect opportunity to learn how to build and operate roads based on usage with Star Hill Road. I would love to see this road become privately owned and operated. If there truly is a demand for this road, then let some group take it on and reap any profits from doing so.

If it’s impossible to make the road completely private, it’s certainly possible to operate according to actual usage by implementing a toll. If it does become a toll road, businesses who would benefit would still have lots of options. For example, they could give a discount equal to the toll price to any customer who spends a certain amount at participating businesses.

Who knows, this road could become so successful that other roads going up the hill hardly ever get used. Then those could be shut down, thereby reducing maintenance costs for the county.

No matter what happens with Star Hill Road, it’s time to pave a new path of alternatives because it’s obvious that taxation road is full of irreparable political potholes.

— Sellersburg resident Debbie Harbeson gets angry when she sees politicians driving on taxation road but she usually feels better after kicking some asphalt.
(Photo: Wikimedia Commons)

Indiana State Board of Accounts Unfair to Clark County Government

HARBESON: Is this something you audit know?

> SOUTHERN INDIANA — Clark County audit reports from the Indiana State Board of Accounts for 2008 are now available. However, you should definitely not read them because they are completely unfair to Clark County Government officials.

First of all, the state board claims county government has a lack of internal controls, something they say helps assure that money is being budgeted, appropriated and spent according to law. Phooey.

Internal controls are completely unnecessary. A system that only exists due to coercion always operates effectively and ethically.

I’m with Clark County Commissioners President Ed Meyer, who says they’ve been relying on the offices to regulate themselves. Government entities need no oversight — that’s only necessary for those risking their own funds in the competitive private sector, not government officials handling other people’s money.

Ed says he doesn’t think the commissioners should get involved in the operations of county departments. Right on Ed! None of us expect commissioners, who are the executive body for the county, to actually oversee the county. Ed knows we only want him to focus on the important issues, like passing cell phone messages through the local gossip mill.

However, since the commissioners were implicated in these reports, they have made a brilliant decision to, as Ed says, “get out of this predicament.” It’s an ingenious idea: Spend more money and hire someone else to do the job.

After all, like Jack Coffman, president of the current county council says, “it’s just so hard.” He’s right. They can’t be expected to actually know what’s in the Indiana Code as it pertains to their jobs.

For goodness sakes, no one discusses such minor details during election campaigns. They only tell us the important stuff, like how they love living here and just want to give back to the community as “public servants.”

And what’s with the state admonishing county departments for not having a process to communicate well? Why would those who budget and appropriate funds need to know what’s going on with those who handle the funds? When I heard this stupid idea, I spit a mouthful of lunch on my unreconciled bank statements.

But now, as a result of these reports, the county auditor will prepare monthly reports so the council and commissioners know what’s going on. Ridiculous.

I’m sure the auditor has much better things to do than actually keeping tabs on the fiscal matters of Clark County. Who cares if unappropriated money is spent, especially when it’s for vital government services, like sheriff’s public relations?

I can’t believe the reports were so critical of not using detailed expenditure accounts either. A budget classification of “other services and charges” could not possibly increase the county’s risk for misappropriation.

This next item was really silly: The state board said proper procedures were not in place to determine that correct amounts were paid on invoices. Gee whiz, a little over payment to vendors here and there is no problem. It stimulates the economy.

According to the reports, money spent from the drug and alcohol fund was not properly spent while Steve Fleece was in charge of Clark’s Superior Court No. 3, but I just don’t see it. For example, it’s easy to understand why he recommended spending money on new carpet using this fund. Many drunken people have puked on carpets, so an association clearly exists.

Also, his recommendation to donate government money from this fund to a local church for items unrelated to the purpose of the fund makes sense too. This cozy intertwining of religion and government has worked out well throughout human history.

I’m sure you’ve heard enough by now to be convinced that you should not read these reports — the ones that are at www.in.gov/sboa. Besides, county officials assure us that if there were problems in 2008, they have now been resolved. So you should believe them and not read these reports — the ones available at www.in.gov/sboa .

— Sellersburg resident Debbie Harbeson stopped cleaning lunch off her bank statements after she realized it’s a great way to hide misappropriated funds from her husband.